I have some reptiles I’m ready to move because I want to downsize and start a project with a few specific species. The problem is my partner is really emotionally invested in them as pets. I just lack the space to keep housing them if I want to work on the species I’m actually interested in breeding. I don’t really know what to do because she won’t take them or care for them.
I mostly just needed to vent my frustrations but if anyone has advice I’m all for it.
Maybe make a deal that if u keep them then they have to help or make a deal that u can keep so many and they get to pick but some have to be sold so u can breed what u want i dont know what the whole thing is but that might work as a compromise so u both can have what u want
Mostly this is a relationship question, not a reptile one. Easier to wrestle alligators than figure out relationships (I never wrestled alligators, but it can’t be as hard as getting along with people). LOL. Just be kind and understanding, and keep talking to each other, and a lot of the details will work themselves out.
Actual practical advice: are you housing your animals in the most efficient way possible? Are you using racks and stackable enclosures (if these are suitable for the species you keep), or glass tanks? If you give some details about what you keep right now and how you keep them, and what species you’re looking to get into, maybe someone can give some focused advice on how to make that switch.
Ugh, what a huge stressor.
This is the crux of the problem, which you already know. Controlling what you’re doing with your animals while not contributing to their care doesn’t make sense. If you have extra space and funds and they love interacting with or watching the animals and you’re fine with that, fine. Otherwise, they only get a say if you let them. It sounds like it is worth a conversation when nobody is actively upset, especially considering that you have long term breeding plans. Even assuming you had space for every animal, what will happen if you have different opinions on what to buy or what to breed? What to keep? What to sell? I’m not trying to cause trouble. I’m trying to suggest you and your partner get on the same page about who has a say.
Start with getting rid of your partner. That’ll free you up to get rid of whatever reptiles you no longer want. Ok, seriously, if she doesn’t help with the husbandry, it sounds like it’s YOUR hobby and as such you can do what you want. I’m not sure how to gently break that to her, but that’s the deal.
Yeah, I’m with Caryl on this. If she’s not contributing to their care and is unable or unwilling to do so, then I’m of the opinion that she doesn’t really get a say. You’re the one financing them, keeping them, and caring for them, which makes them your animals, not hers, therefore the decision of who to sell and who to keep is yours alone.
Not trying to dismiss her feelings. I totally get that it can be tough to say goodbye to animals you’ve become attached to, even if the animals are not yours. Having feelings about it is understandable. But demanding you keep them all when she’s not the one putting the time and money into their care is pretty silly.
Thank you guys for letting me vent my frustrations on here without getting angry about it haha. Definitely more of a relationship issue than a reptile issue. If I had posted my frustrations on Reddit where I’m way more active I would have been attacked for wanting to breed reptiles at all.
My partner and I had a good long talk about it and everything is alright now. I’m moving forward with selling some of the reptiles.
Thank you guys again for being a nice and welcoming community even with silly threads like this.
Glad you got it sorted. Animals and relationships definitely affect each other. And yeah, we’re generally supportive in this community when someone is trying.
Isn’t it normally- Stop getting more…snakes, lizards, fish, other creatures?
She’s trying to stop you from downsizing?
I’m yuckin it up hard now. Lol.
What a conundrum.
I hear you about reddit, lol. Its nice to hear you both talked it out. Communication is key to everything but especially relationships and hobbies involved. One of the great things about here is people genuinely try to help without judgement but also upfront and honest. I hope everything works out and in the end its your hobby and you have to do whats right for you, the animals and your goals no matter if feelings might get hurt for a bit.