We Need Your Help!

No words other than will share the link


I was rejected due to my cancers. My kids are looking into it now. I really had my hopes up to be a living donor. You can contact me at any time to just vent or chat, the least I can do is lend an ear or eyeball and be there for you guys emotionally.

Lots of love and positive energy for you. I’ll keep you posted on how my kiddos go with the steps.


I have had a few others report that they were unable as well. Something I have told all of them is to not feel disappointed. I know that can be a hard thing to do, but honestly, it means so so much that you tried and that means so much to us.

We appreciate all the support!!


Should probably update while I am here

I got through the first round of testing and am not a compatible match. However, I am proceeding through with the paired-exchange program where they find someone that I am a match to and give them my kidney and that will either start a donation chain that ends with Julie or, if the chain does not circle back to here, 24 hours after they take my kidney, Julie will receive “voucher” that will allow her to have right of first choice on the next kidney that come up in the system that is a match for her.

I have had to get some additional tests (colonoscopy because apparently I am “old” now, repeat of 24 hour urine collection because they did not believe the 7.2L from the last one was reflective of my normal fluid intake [it was, I am very hydrated LOL], and more blood tests). I had final blood draws today so hopefully by the end of the week I will hear something.

We have also heard through both of our coordinators that the response for Julie has been tremendous and is one of the highest engagement levels they have seen. So a HUGE thanks again to everyone for all the support

Hopefully in a couple few months or so I can report that I have lost 150g and am recovering nicely and then hopefully a few months after that I can report Julie is recovering and on the road to normal kidney function


So sorry to hear your family is having to deal with this. Sadly, I was only born with one lonely kidney, so I don’t have a spare to donate. I’m also not on social media, but with your permission, I’ll share the link with anyone I know who might be interested in getting tested via email. I’ll certainly be keeping your wife, you, and the rest of your family in my thoughts.

I’m glad to hear you’re exploring the possibility of a donation chain. I was about to suggest looking into that until I read you already were. A friend of mine was finally able to get a kidney through a donation chain like that, and I’m a big fan of the whole concept. Hopefully one of the many avenues you’re exploring will finally yield the perfect kidney for your wife!


You are welcome to share it across. Thanks!!! :+1:t4: :+1:t4:


Wow, that’s a much faster expected turnaround than I thought. I wondered how long you would be waiting if you donated through paired exchange… I expected weeks at minimum. 24 hours is crazy.

While not great all around, it is good to hear that it’s now moving forward for yous. :heart:


Once they take my kidney for an unrelated recipient, the system recognizes me as having supplied a surplus to the system and so they “repay” that action by providing the voucher. It does not guarantee an immediate match to Julie, she may not get a call on her voucher for a few months (average is 16 weeks), but it activates her in the same nationwide matching system my kidney went into which greatly increases the odds of a match for her


fun fact 17 is the longest exchange chain. :slight_smile:


Well now I have a goal to break LOL


@t_h_wyman What a beautiful expression of love for your wife to do something like you are doing! It is truly an act of selfless sacrifice! You will also be helping someone else in need as well. Wow!

I am 67 years old and I have several health issues as well as surgery in the very near future. Would that I were young and healthy again! I would give donate a kidney in a New York skinny minute! God bless you kind sir! :heart:


How have things been going? Is everyone OK? Has any of the procedures gone through yet? No need to answer if its sensitive, i just know we all care for you and your wifes well being, and would love to know how the process has been going :slight_smile:


I will echo that too. We love you Travis, praying for you and your wife.


Same here. The situation is still very much in our prayers.


Nothing sensitive, just no real change in things so not much to report.

The fire-walling between potential donors and us as recipients means we do not hear anything unless the potential donor reaches out to us. We have had a few tell us that they have been eliminated for various reason (all 100% legitimate)

Julie is feeling some of the effects of the disease progression, she is fatigued a lot and normal things that never bothered her before, like going up a flight of stairs, now wipe her out. That frustrates her and ups her anxiety a bit. But her numbers are still good given where she is in disease progression so that is great

I have had to undergo yet another round of tests because apparently I pee “too much” and they were not willing to just accept my explanation that I am just a VERY hydrated person You try to be healthy and look what it gets you :man_facepalming:t4: :man_facepalming:t4: LOL). The nephrologist for me has been out the last couple weeks so I am still waiting to hear back on how those turned out. Which is to say, I already reviewed all the results and everything is in the ‘normal’ range so I am just waiting for them to admit I was right and they were wrong :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

I have been frustrated with how slow things seem to be going and I have to keep reminding myself that everyone involved have their own busy schedules AND there are also a whole bunch of other people like us that are having to go through this same process as well. It is just hard to hold that broad perspective with the personal urgency I feel

Again, we are so very appreciative of everyone’s support and thoughts. I promise as soon as we hear anything I will update immediately. And in the interim, never hesitate to ask if you have questions, I mostly just do not want to bother everyone by updating the thread to say “Still in limbo”


No problem, appreciate the update! It had just been some time, and wasnt sure if you had gone under the knife yet or if the process was on hold until you did. Also wanted to make sure nothing happened where you guys may need help again :slight_smile:


We appreciate it :grin:


This is one of the harder parts to deal with and the not knowing where things are at in the process. I can tell when my sister donated her kidney to me for my first transplant it felt like forever to get to the finish line. Keep your head up and tell Julie the same thing, in the end it is all part of the mircle.

I know this is tough for someone who is strong and independent and use to being able to do anything and everything without issue. I feel her pain. Give her big hugs from me.

Much love, prayers, and positive vibes to the both of you <3



An update. Not the best one either

I have been eliminated as a possible donor. The reasons behind this decision are complete and total bovine excrement

Bit of background - I am a very hydrated person. I typically drink ~750mL of water every hour. This started about eight years ago when I decided to get back in shape and lose some weight and I started drinking water every time I felt hungry. Later, it became a way that I was forced to take a break from my desk at regular intervals; if you drink a full glass every time you go to the bathroom, you keep having to get up and walk to the bathroom

What this means for the donation process is that when they ask me to do a 24-hour collection, I turn in 7.5L

And when they ask me to repeat the collection, I again turn in 7.5L

And then the nephrologist decides that this means I have diabetes insipidus

Now… Rather than talking to me (despite numerous requests from me) the nephrologist sent me for more tests. All of the tests come back within the normal range.

I again ask to speak to the nephrologist. Again, my request goes unanswered but the coordinator delivers the verdict that, while my tests are indeed normal, a couple of them are on the lower side of normal so they are still convinced I have diabetes insipidus. And since they have decided that, I am now being dropped from the program. They told me I have the option of consulting an endocrinology specialist and if diabetes insipidus is ruled out then they may be able to reconsider my living donor candidacy. But also, since they consider me to be “no longer under their care” they refuse to make any type of endocrinology referral

A differential diagnosis is come to by systemic examination of a patient AND an analysis of that patient’s history so that a correct diagnosis can be achieved. The entire process involves distinguishing a suspected condition from other possibilities that may present in a similar manner. Given the nephrologist has a complete lack of history on me because they never once bothered to speak with me they are missing a huge piece of the puzzle because my history quite easily disputes the diagnosis

Examining key indication symptoms of diabetes insipidus:

  • Polyuria – Yes (with a reasonable explanation that was never once inquired about)
  • Sever thirst – NO
  • Dehydration – NO
  • Frequent awakening at night to use bathroom – NO
  • Urination while asleep – NO
  • Pale urine – Yes (as a direct result of polyuria, which, as noted above, has an explanation)
  • Low urine concentration – Yes (as a direct result of polyuria, which, as noted above, has an explanation)
  • Preference for cold drinks – Emphatically NO. I actively avoid cold drinks, ordering drinks “without ice” whenever I am out and keeping things like soda and water at room temperature
  • Accelerated heart rate - NO

Further, because of the nature of my job, I am subject to very complete physicals on an annual basis. The nurse practitioners here - both of whom are flabbergasted about the idiocy of this diagnosis - have a file over 15cm thick containing thirteen years’ worth of health records on me. If I had diabetes insipidus then it would have been detected long before I started this process

Diagnosing diabetes insipidus based off of the single symptom of polyuria is, to use an analogy, like accepting as absolute fact the “cancer” diagnosis that comes up when you enter any symptom on WedMD while completely ignoring any of the other, more logical, diagnoses

So now, my hands are now bound and I am forced to waste more of my wife’s precious time as her condition continues to degrade finding an available endocrinologist and jumping through countless unnecessary, and likely costly, hoops just to prove this diagnosis of diabetes insipidus as grossly incorrect and then fight to get myself put back on the donor list

If I were going through all of this just to donate altruistically instead of for my wife, I would flat out give up because this whole situation has completely poisoned me from wanting to continue


What a waste of valuable time. How can a doctor say you can’t donate a kidney because you are being healthy while saying you have diabetes without even checking your history or talking to you and be able to be ok with it even though he is making someone suffer. Doesn’t that go against the point of their job of helping people?