“Ooh a new cork log! You baked it, right?”
“Finnley. Why did you make a poo bigger than the dog’s poo. She is 13 pounds. YOU are TWO.”
“Oh don’t put the ice cream in that drawer, that’s the frozen rat drawer.”
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Walking through Walmart with my husband
Me: “… and then I asked him if he could send me an updated picture of the balls”
Husband: “Did he?”
Me: “yea, and one of them was a lot smaller than I thought”
…
random older lady; “y’all need jesus”
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Omg that’s hilarious. 
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This happed to me yesterday but in a different light.
So I have a privacy screen protector on my phone because it makes being in my phone for long periods of time easier on my eyes.
So I am sitting in the library and on a phone call, I am talking about breeding and pairs and stuff. So the one sided conversation that this lady heard was.
———-
Me to my friend on the other side of the phone: I really need to get myself a big girl. Something over 6 1/2 feet.
Mr Slim Shady needs himself a big girl.
This boa can be 6 1/2 maybe more when he gets full grown.
Man, I am going to enjoy breeding and getting to see the babies.
Oh right, I forgot about the baby goop fluid. You said that gets everywhere, right? And it has an odd smell?
I will have to make sure I clean it up before my mom comes home and smells it.
————-
My friend and I talked for a few more minutes and he had to go so we got off the phone.
No lie…I went to get up and a staff member of the library asked me why would I be having a conversation of that nature in a children’s library. I had no idea but she was recording me talking in the phone because she was going to report me and get my library access revoked. So I explained what I was talking about and she ended up laughing and letting me keep my library access.
What do you think of that @akmorphs?
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That’s one that will go down in the annals of time Riley! Way to go wanna be boa baby breeder!
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And yes…I completely forgot to say feet when taking about Slim’s length. That is what just made it sound worse lol .
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